[梦呓] What I've Lost

I think I already know what I've lost.

So much to say, so much to feel.
But there just isn't enough time to think too much about every little thing.
Or maybe we ourselves don't want to think.

As we grow, the problems and troubles that we have to face is also 'growing'.
To avoid being crushed by these problems,
we just have to stop thinking too much.
Stop feeling too much.

Perhaps this is what people mean when they say 'you've grown up!'
And also the line 'ignorance is bliss'.

Perhaps, I'm just lazy.
But I really hope that I'm lazy than to think that I've lost the sensitive ability to feel.

[Life] Lost

1. I felt that I've lost my brother since he got his girlfriend some years ago. Well, fiance as for now.
2. I am losing my habit of going on MSN everyday.
3. I feel really bad for abandoning (in a way) my comics and japanese learning.
4. I feel sorry for my drawing hobby, I rarely draw or ink anymore.
5. Parts of me have struggled to leave me.

6. Because there are new things taking over them.
7. New people.
8. New surroundings.
9. New culture.
10. New habits.
11. New stuffs.

12. I still miss the old me. Well, some things in me never change though.
13. But some did.

14. I know because I felt it deeply.
15. It's not something bad, I just feel sorry to lose some of the old me.

16. Sorry.

[梦呓]目送

不要走。
我只能这样说吧。
我们只能这样说吧。
因为我们还是没办法
要走。

只能站在我的地上，与你平行的向前走。
我也不去找她们了。我要送你。
你踏出大门。我爬上看台。
等你经过。目不转睛。
你攀上了天桥，我心陪你上桥。
始终目不转睛地。

你开始走远了，离我越来越远了。
我仍站在原地。
我们只能远处依依不舍的相凝望。

桥灯昏暗。哪怕是一个眨眼，都会把你弄不见。
我好害怕你就这样不见了。

你越来越小。随着你下了阶梯。你又不见了。
你躲在柱子后吗？你绕道走了吗？你去了哪里？
鼻子酸酸的，但我不允许视线变模糊。

心被盐腌着，被大力揪着。呜。

仍追随你的影子，送你送到月台。
看见你拿起手机要找我；我也赶紧发了一个字的短讯给你，希望会比你快。

“不要走。不要走啊。”

原想把你送到火车上。
但最后我还是先走了。