[诗词] Forever
I drowned
my infatuation in the sea.
But
Was struggling in the sea;
Was gasping -
For you.
You were there smiling.
You were still beautiful.
That day
I drowned
your beauty in the sea.
I placed a picture frame
around us. Then
I drowned
myself in the sea.
Someday
Both of us will buoy on the sea.
Like corpses -
And nothing else.
Forever.
(chinese version)
my infatuation in the sea.
But
Was struggling in the sea;
Was gasping -
For you.
You were there smiling.
You were still beautiful.
That day
I drowned
your beauty in the sea.
I placed a picture frame
around us. Then
I drowned
myself in the sea.
Someday
Both of us will buoy on the sea.
Like corpses -
And nothing else.
Forever.
(chinese version)
posted by lili at 10:43 pm
7 Comments:
i like the idea of the poem but it feels really chinese... it feels as if you've directly translated the poem from chinese ot english. you're gonna hate me but i think i see grammar mistakes here and there... sorry!!! didn't mean to be mean.
我還真的看不懂^^
老人家英文爛啊~
不過樓上的 你說有grammar mistakes
也許可以指出來
或說怎嚜才會更好
這樣 我們家學妹蔡能越寫越好啊~^^
p/s:抱歉 我無能 指不出來>"<
Thanks for reading. ^^ Yeah, I actually come up with something in chinese, and you're right, I translated it.
I'm happy to receive comments ^^"
But the problem is... if there are grammar mistakes here and there... would you mind to point them out for me? So that I can improve. Umm well, unless it is too tiring to list them out since there are too much. >_<
I will work hard. And thanks again ^o^ for both 'anonymouses', hehe.
哈哈~
你說的跟我說的一樣啦~
有錯誤就要告訴人如何改進..
只是說有錯誤 範圍未免太大...^^
是不小心按到才會變匿名的>"<
Yeah lolz, I know it's you, 'shou'. And I think I know who the other anonymous is. ^^
Thanks.
erm.. i just think it sounded nicer in mandarin.. i dun think u shud really translate a chinese poem into english.. it doesn't feel the same.. hw bout try writing a original english one? i look forward to reading it ^^
Honestly, I didn't translated it. I got some ideas, and I started writing in english... it's just the idea was in chinese, and I finished the whole thing without thinking in chinese. While I DID translated the english one to the chinese... and no one noticed. Lolz.
Ok... probably it's my thinking method too 'chinese'... so I'll work hard for my next attempt. ^^
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